At long last, Mark Anthony Stephens has cracked the code of divine mercy: God doesn’t grade spelling. According to Mark’s latest revelation, when we all stand before the judgment seat of Christ, there won’t be a spelling test. Hallelujah, praise be — grammar police everywhere are out of luck.

But let’s pause. Because, Mark, when you write “your” instead of “you’re,” or “write” instead of “right,” we’re not judging your eternal soul. We’re just judging the fact that a 12-year-old with a half-eaten crayon and sticky fingers could construct a more coherent sentence.

And then there’s the crown jewel of your literary career: “wemon.” Not once. Not twice. But again and again, like a signature catchphrase. Forget Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John — your gospel is written in the Book of Wemon. Honestly, Mark, if you’re going to launch crusades about morality and call half the planet Jezebels, the very least you could do is spell their name correctly.

The “God doesn’t grade spelling” defense is peak DARVO:

• Deny — “I’m not bad at spelling.”
• Attack — “You’re just petty for pointing it out!”
• Reverse Victim and Offender — “I’m being judged unfairly for my typos while I’m out here doing the Lord’s work.”

But here’s the part your Facebook sermons don’t cover, Mark. There may not be a spelling test in heaven, but there will absolutely be a test of character. And on that test, you don’t get graded on grammar — you get graded on the things you’ve built your legacy on:

• Financial abuse: skipping child support while posting selfies on the beach.
• Coercive control: forcing your malnourished son to sign a contract denying his diagnosis.
• Emotional abuse: laughing while your buddy shouts obscenities at your own kid’s basketball game.
• Gaslighting: telling everyone the courts, doctors, and even your children are lying while you alone have the “truth.”
• Spiritual weaponization: twisting scripture to cover your lies, your failures, and your rage.
• Counter-parenting: undermining medical treatment, rules, and trust at every turn.
• Isolation and intimidation: cutting people off, threatening, or using anger to control the narrative.

Honestly, Mark, maybe there won’t be a spelling test in heaven. But there will be a test of character. And if your eternal grade is based on lying, undermining your kids’ treatment, skipping court orders, and pretending Facebook posts are gospel?

Let’s just say… you’re not even going to make it past remedial.