How Enablers Protect the Abuser at the Expense of the Victims

What does it say about a mother when her son has restraining orders placed against him by two ex-wives and his own children — all for abuse and neglect?

A healthy parent would be shaken to their core. They would grieve the reality that their child had caused such harm. They would ask hard questions, search for accountability, and hope for change. But not the narcissist’s mother. Instead, she excuses, minimizes, and spiritualizes his behavior.

Every court order is rebranded as “persecution.” Every boundary protecting the children is labeled “demonic.” Judges, medical professionals, CPS workers, even the victims themselves are cast as enemies in a cosmic battle. In her telling, her son is never at fault; he is a martyr under attack.

By doing this, she doesn’t just turn a blind eye — she becomes complicit. She provides the cover that allows him to continue the cycle of harm. Where others see evidence of abuse, she sees a reason to defend. Where others see victims in need of protection, she sees conspirators to be discredited.

This is the anatomy of enabling: a parent so invested in protecting image that they will sacrifice truth, justice, and even the well-being of their grandchildren. The narcissist cannot survive without enablers, and in Mark’s case, his mother is his most faithful one.

A healthy parent would feel shame, grief, or at the very least concern. They would ask, “Where did I go wrong? How can I help stop the damage?” But in this case, the narcissist’s mother does the opposite — she excuses, enables, and even sanctifies his abuse. Instead of acknowledging the hard truth, she rebrands it as “demonic opposition.” Instead of holding her son accountable, she joins him in attacking the very people he’s harmed.

By doing so, she’s not just blind to his abuse — she’s complicit in it. Every restraining order, every court finding, every safety plan is waved away as spiritual warfare. She doesn’t see victims; she sees enemies. And in protecting her son’s image at all costs, she helps ensure that the cycle of abuse continues.

In the end, a narcissist rarely stands alone. They almost always have an enabler — someone who will rewrite reality to preserve the fantasy. For Mark, that enabler is his mother.