Mark Stephens warefare

Mark has done it again. Yesterday’s post introduced us to a new concept—“warefare.” Now, before you grab a dictionary (or even autocorrect), let’s pause and savor the brilliance. This isn’t your run-of-the-mill warfare. Oh no. This is Mark-brand, extra-confusing, typo-driven warefare.

So what is warefare exactly? Let’s break it down:

• Tupperwarefare – The eternal conflict over who gets the one container lid that fits. Spoiler: Mark loses this one too.
• Softwarefare – Clicking “remind me later” on life’s updates, forever stuck in beta.
• Malwarefare – That creeping virus that ruins everything it touches—kind of like Mark’s social media presence.
• Spywarefare – Constant surveillance, spinning conspiracies, and pretending everyone is out to get him.
• Unawarefare – The battle to stay proudly oblivious, a fight Mark wages daily (and wins).

And just when you thought it couldn’t get dumber, Mark’s loyal sidekick Adam pipes up: “Bro, warefare is next-level. It’s like, when you’re fighting but you don’t even know why, and everyone else just thinks you look stupid.”

Truer words, Adam. Truer words.

But maybe there’s a deeper truth here. Maybe this is just part of Mark’s projectionist reaping-what-he-sows lifestyle. Mark is dumb, he sows dumb. And what does he get? Dumb prizes.

🎶 Cue the Price is Right theme music. 🎶

“Mark Stephens, COME ON DOWN! You’re the next contestant on The Price is Dumb!

What do we have for him today, Johnny?”

• A shiny new No Contact Order!
• A set of matching Protection Orders!
• A deluxe Divorce Papers Package!
• A family-sized assortment of CPS Visits!
• Personalized GAL Visits!
• And of course, a lifetime supply of Court Dates!

All this can be yours, Mark, for the low, low cost of refusing accountability and misspelling your own battles.

At the end of the day, maybe warefare is the perfect word. Not quite real, not quite coherent—just like the man who posted it.