When every judge, wife, coach, doctor, and cop is ‘in on it,’ maybe the problem isn’t the conspiracy — it’s the common denominator.

And here’s the part that really stretches the imagination:
According to Mark, the whole world has decided to gang up on him.

Every judge? Corrupt.
Every wife? Lying.
Every coach? Biased.
Every principal? Out to get him.
Every single doctor, psychiatrist, therapist? Bought and paid for.
Different counties, different schools, different clinics — all part of the conspiracy.
Even the police? Oh, absolutely — they’re in on it too.

So by Mark’s logic, there’s been an international summit of ex-wives, Little League coaches, high school principals, pediatricians, psychiatrists, and sheriff’s deputies — all meeting in some secret bunker, plotting The Great Mark Take-Down.

Mark AKA Rodney King Stephens, victim of a coordinated, global smear campaign… or, hear me out, maybe — just maybe — the common denominator isn’t everyone else.

Because when every single person from every corner of your life and from completely unrelated worlds has the same story about you? That’s not a conspiracy. That’s a character study.

Picture it.
A giant, fluorescent-lit warehouse somewhere in Middle America. Folding chairs in a perfect circle. At the center? Mark — clutching a Bible in one hand and a printout of his latest Facebook post in the other, looking confused but certain this is all Tori’s fault.

Around him stands the Summit of Eternal Villains:

• A judge in full robes, warming up with a gavel like it’s a baseball bat.
• Three ex-wives, cracking their knuckles in synchronized rhythm.
• Two Little League coaches, twirling stolen baseball caps like nunchucks.
• A high school principal, adjusting their tie, tapping a disciplinary folder marked “Permanent Record.”
• Every single doctor, psychiatrist, and therapist from different counties, different clinics, flipping through his medical contradictions like cue cards.
• The police, spinning batons with that you’re-going-to-jail smirk.

One by one, like a darkly comic police lineup, they step forward to take their turn — not with fists or batons, but with the tools of their trade:

• The judge lands a blow with a court order.
• The ex-wives strike with custody agreements.
• The coaches swing schedules he ignored.
• The doctors smack him with DSM-5 pages on ARFID.
• The principal whacks him with truancy logs.
• And the police? Just hit him with his own ignored restraining order.

It’s the Rodney King footage reimagined — not with violence, but with relentless, bureaucratic accountability. And Mark, wide-eyed, still insists: “See? They’re all in on it!”