Mark Anthony Stephens is back on Facebook, and this time, he’s giving us a cinematic double feature. The genre? Somewhere between courtroom drama, slapstick comedy, and disaster film.

Act One: The Billboard of Blazing Nonsense

First up, we’ve got a giant highway ad promising a class-action lawsuit against all family courts for “encouraging parental alienation.” Bold claim. Even bolder typo — “ATTORNEY’S” with an apostrophe that’s just… there. Like Mark in a court-ordered evaluation — showing up in the wrong place, doing the wrong thing.

It’s shared without irony by a man who has an actual, spelled-out, court-approved checklist for regaining time with his kids:

1. Domestic Violence Assessment
2. Mental Health Evaluation
3. Follow the care plan

Three steps. That’s it. But instead of taking them, Mr. StartFire would rather threaten to take down the entire judicial system with Facebook shares and badly proofread billboards. This is the legal equivalent of refusing to change a lightbulb and then trying to sue the power company for making it dark.

Act Two: Mrs. Doubtfire Without the Work Ethic

Next post, he’s quoting Robin Williams from Mrs. Doubtfire:
“I can’t live without them.”

Heartwarming in the movie. Problematic here. Because in Mrs. Doubtfire, Daniel Hilliard actually hustled — got a job, wore disguises, learned to cook, and jumped through every hoop the court set.

Mr. StartFire? He’s not Daniel Hilliard. He’s more like Danny “I’ll Get to It Later” Hill-No-Show. The only role he’s committed to playing is “The Guy Who Complains Online.”

If Mrs. Doubtfire was remade with Mr. StartFire in the lead, it would just be two hours of him on Facebook, telling everyone how unfair it is that the courts “won’t let” him see his kids while the instructions to do so sit untouched on his kitchen counter.

The Spark Becomes the Fire

Here’s the pattern:

• Mrs. Doubtfire lit the metaphorical fire of determination to be present.
• Mr. StartFire lights the literal dumpster fire of conflict, then stands back yelling, “See? Look what they did to me!”

Every post is kindling. Every accusation is lighter fluid. The flames don’t just keep him warm — they’re his brand. But like all bad pyros, he’s shocked when people run from the smoke.

Final Scene:
Mr. StartFire doesn’t need a lawyer for a class action. He doesn’t need a latex mask or a fake accent. He needs to do three things: sit in the chair, complete the evaluations, follow the care plan. But until that day, we can all enjoy the never-ending franchise:

• Mr. StartFire II: The Pickleball Priorities
• Mr. StartFire III: The Apostrophe Strikes Back
• Mr. StartFire IV: Still Not in Compliance

Roll credits.