If you’ve ever dealt with a narcissist who owes you money, you know it’s not just about dollars and cents—it’s about control. The unpaid debt becomes another weapon, another way to keep you off balance, another piece of leverage in their endless game of manipulation.

A narcissist doesn’t see money as responsibility. They see it as theater. They’ll spend it freely on appearances—new toys, social outings, the trip that makes them look “free” or “fun.” But when it comes to what actually matters—child support, bills, obligations they chose by their own commitments—that wallet slams shut.

And yet, they’ll convince themselves (and anyone who will listen) that you are the problem. That you’re greedy. That you’re materialistic. That you’re weaponizing money against them. In reality, you’re just asking them to live up to the bare minimum of what the law, the court, and basic human decency already demand.

The irony is thick: a narcissist will brag about integrity, honor, faith, or even generosity, while they stand in contempt of court for unpaid support. They’ll claim victimhood while the receipts pile up against them. They’ll spin tales about persecution while their kids go without, their partners carry the weight, and their debts remain unpaid.

Here’s the truth: money doesn’t lie. Bank records don’t lie. Court judgments don’t lie. The narcissist will keep saying the checks are in the mail, that they’re about to make things right, that they’re “working on it as we speak.” But the months turn into years, and the balance owed only grows.

And the tragedy isn’t just financial—it’s relational. Kids learn quickly. They see which parent sacrifices and which parent disappears. They understand who shows up and who doesn’t. And when a narcissist continues to treat financial responsibility as optional, they’re not just defaulting on their payments. They’re defaulting on fatherhood.

So what do you do when a narcissist owes you money?
You stop expecting them to change. You document. You hold them accountable through the system. And you remember: their unpaid debt says nothing about your worth. It says everything about theirs.

Because at the end of the day, the narcissist’s unpaid balance is more than financial—it’s the interest accruing on a bankrupt character.