If life were a baseball game, Mark wouldn’t just be stepping up to the plate occasionally when it comes to things God hates — he’d be swinging for the fences every time.
In fact, he’s racking up hits so consistently, he’s a first-ballot inductee into the Proverbs 6 Hall of Shame.

Let’s check the box score from Proverbs 6:16-19 and see just how he’s doing this season:

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⚾️ 1️⃣ Haughty Eyes (Arrogance and Pride)
🔹 Result: Solid single to left field
Mark struts around like he’s the smartest man in the room, dismissing doctors, therapists, coaches — even when they’ve dedicated their lives to helping people.
👉 Batting 1.000 on pride.

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⚾️ 2️⃣ A Lying Tongue
🔹 Result: Home run — deep into left-center
From contradictory stories about stolen baseball caps to lies about medical risks to endless distortions online — this is Mark’s power zone.
👉 Batting 1.000 on dishonesty.

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⚾️ 3️⃣ Hands That Shed Innocent Blood (or Souls)
🔹 Result: Infield hit — but we’ll count it.
No literal bloodshed, but he’s inflicted deep emotional wounds on those closest to him, especially his own kids.
👉 Batting 1.000 on emotional harm.

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⚾️ 4️⃣ A Heart That Devises Wicked Schemes
🔹 Result: Ground-rule double — scheming from the dugout
Manipulating narratives, coercing contracts, disrupting medical treatment?
That’s classic Mark — plotting all day, every day.
👉 Batting 1.000 on scheming.

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⚾️ 5️⃣ Feet That Rush Into Evil
🔹 Result: Triple — sliding headfirst into chaos
Whether it’s turning a kids’ basketball game into a political rally or jumping on social media to air every grievance known to man — Mark’s quick on his feet when it comes to diving straight into trouble.
👉 Batting 1.000 on rushing into evil.

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⚾️ 6️⃣ A False Witness Who Pours Out Lies
🔹 Result: Opposite-field double — lies from all angles
Endless public posts blaming everyone else while twisting facts into knots?
Yep, Mark’s got this one covered too.
👉 Batting 1.000 on false witness.

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⚾️ 7️⃣ A Person Who Sows Discord in the Community
🔹 Result: Another home run — he’s rounding the bases laughing
If there were an award for stirring up conflict, Mark would have a trophy case full. His entire social media feed is practically a discord generator — chronicling betrayals, finger-pointing, and conspiracy theories about everyone around him.
👉 Batting 1.000 on sowing discord.

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⚡️ The Final Stats:

• Mark’s Batting Average on the Seven Things God Hates: 1.000
• Perfect season. Zero strikeouts. No fouls. Just a hit every single time.

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And let’s not forget his sheer volume at-bats:
This isn’t an occasional appearance at the plate — Mark’s posting record looks like an obsessive warm-up before every inning. Dozens of swings a day:

“So-and-so betrayed me!”
“Another liar exposed!”
“It’s everyone else’s fault again today!”
“Doctors? Evil. Friends? Evil. Neighbors? Probably evil too.”

He’s not just a player in this game… he’s the whole team. And the coach. And the umpire.

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💥 Conclusion:
If Proverbs 6 were a stat sheet, Mark wouldn’t just meet the criteria — he’d be the poster child, hitting for average and power, proudly racking up runs in pride, lying, scheming, discord, and emotional harm.

And just like a bad baseball movie…

Everyone watching has walked out of the stadium, except Mark — who’s still swinging away, convinced he’s winning the game.