Between Anger and Sadness: A Father’s Choice
November 30, 2023
📜 “Coffee With Mark: The Gospel According to Grievance”
June 26, 2024
Between Anger and Sadness: A Father’s Choice
November 30, 2023
📜 “Coffee With Mark: The Gospel According to Grievance”
June 26, 2024

❤️ A Note Before You Read (Especially for Liam and Nathan, If You Ever Do)

To Liam and Nathan:

This blog wasn’t written for you.
It wasn’t meant for your eyes, and we hope you’ll never need to read it.

But we know that one day you might — maybe out of curiosity, maybe because you’re looking for answers. So if you’re here now, we want you to understand why this blog exists.

This isn’t about mocking your father for sport, nor about airing grievances just to stir drama. It’s about building a record — a way to hold up the truth next to the narrative your father is busy crafting online.

Your dad is telling a story: a story of being a devoted, loving, unfairly alienated father. A story that paints him as the victim of a system, of other people, of circumstances.
He’s carefully curating that story — post after post, image after image, Bible verse after Bible verse — to persuade an audience of friends, followers, and eventually… you.

But here’s the difference:
His story is built for social media optics.
This blog is built on facts.

  • Documented court records.
  • Medical reports from your doctors.
  • Witness statements from coaches, parents, and adults who watched him behave in ways that directly contradicted his public persona.

This blog is a safety gate — a checkpoint that keeps the gaslighting in check. It exists so that when your father inevitably comes to you one day with “his side of the story,” you’ll have access to the fuller picture.

We didn’t protect you from him because we wanted to keep you apart.
We protected you for you — because love sometimes means holding the hard line when someone refuses to be safe, accountable, or willing to do the work necessary to heal and reunify responsibly.

You are loved.
You are cared for.
And through all of this, you have been supported every day by people who showed up for you — quietly, consistently, without the need for public recognition or praise.

The truth isn’t in Facebook posts or sentimental captions.
It’s in your memories.
It’s in the experiences you lived, the support you received, and the peace you’ve been allowed to grow into — free from the harm and disruption that came when he was present.

This blog exists so that no matter how loudly or frequently your father rewrites history online, there’s a place where the reality — documented, sourced, and factual — stands as a contrast.

That’s all this is:
Not an attack.
Not a performance.
But a record.
A record that holds up your father’s “truth” next to what actually happened, so you can always know the difference.

❤️


Here are some trusted resources and references that can support children who’ve grown up with narcissistic or abusive parents, as well as their caregivers. These are grounded in research, best practices, and lived experiences:


📘 Children of Narcissistic Parents

1. “Children of Narcissistic Parents: Effects, Healing, and More” – Healthline
A comprehensive overview of how narcissistic parenting affects children, with practical strategies for protection, boundary-setting, and repair. Covers risks such as anxiety, low self-esteem, and emotional manipulation (Healthline).

2. “Helping Children Cope with a Narcissistic Parent” – Psychology Today
Provides tools like role-playing, safety planning, and seeking professional support to help children navigate interactions with a narcissistic parent .

3. “Coping Strategies Library for Children of Narcissistic Parents” – Medium
This guide helps readers understand the emotional landscape children face—fear, isolation, and lack of control—and offers coping tools to build resilience and self-worth (Medium).


📙 Children Experiencing Abuse or Trauma

4. The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
A seminal work on how trauma shapes the brain, body, and emotional landscape. It’s highly recommended for survivors of childhood abuse and forms the basis of trauma-informed treatment .

5. 8 Keys to Safe Trauma Recovery by Babette Rothschild
A step-by-step self-help guide for trauma survivors—including those who experienced childhood abuse—to reclaim safety and emotional balance (Blue Knot Foundation).

6. “Child Abuse and Neglect: Bibliography” – Penn State Library Guide
A curated list of multidisciplinary research focused on child maltreatment, intervention strategies, and prevention approaches (Penn State University Libraries Guides).


🧠 Mental Health Tools & Strategies

7. National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN)
Offers resources and training for trauma-informed care, covering a wide range of traumatic experiences—from abuse to neglect—and supports healing frameworks (Wikipedia).

8. Survivors Healing Center
A nonprofit that provides peer support, group therapy, and education specifically for survivors of childhood sexual abuse (Wikipedia).


📚 Memoirs & Self-Help Books

  • The Courage to Heal by Ellen Bass & Laura Davis — A self-help classic for survivors of childhood sexual abuse (Wikipedia).
  • I Never Told Anyone (edited by Bass & Thornton) — A powerful collection of survivors’ narratives, illustrating trauma, resilience, and recovery (Wikipedia).
  • Outgrowing the Pain: A Book for and About Adults Abused as Children — Offers guided questions and tools for understanding and overcoming childhood maltreatment (Amazon).

🌱 Online Communities & Support

9. r/raisedbynarcissists subreddit
A vibrant community where individuals share experiences, strategies, and solidarity. While not a substitute for therapy, it can validate and empower users (Self).


🧩 Quick Coping Tips (Supported by Experts)

  • Set clear boundaries with parents exhibiting narcissistic or abusive traits (verywellhealth.com).
  • Seek therapy like CBT or EMDR to process trauma and reframe unhealthy beliefs (verywellhealth.com).
  • Build a support system—trusted adults, mentors, or peers who validate your reality .

✅ How to Use These Resources

AudienceRecommended Tools & Actions
Children & TeensRead trauma-informed guides; join age-appropriate support groups; engage in peer validation.
Parents/CaregiversLearn compassionate interventions; consult Healthline, Psychology Today, or NCTSN; seek professional help when needed.
Adult SurvivorsUse memoirs and self-help tools during therapy; connect with online communities for continued support.